November 2008

So the last time I wrote, I was pondering Africa. Now I'm living in Lubbock, Texas. Africa was amazing. I made rice pudding like I did in Africa last night, and realized that the smell of roibus tea is Africa to me. Every day when we came in from the truck we'd make a cup. I got to do such amazing things that I will never get to do again. What an opportunity.
But now I'm living in Lubbock. Things are great again with Chris, just fabulous really. And I have a wonderful fuzzy dog named Bear who thinks I'm wonderful too. I have a job, so that's good. And an apartment. And I get to see my family next week.
However. After this, I will never live in a town without water or a Central Market. I miss Austin so incredibly much. I took it for granted. I drove to work over the river every single day. I could stop on the way home at Whole Foods or Central Market and peruse the vegetable aisles, wander through, feel all my stress float away and fill with thoughts of what I could do in the kitchen. I could walk up and down South Congress and shop and eat good food and see the river. I could shop at my favorite bookstore and see their recommendations and play in BookPeople. There were bars where people knew my name. I could buy scarves and jewelry in markets. When I walked down the street, there were people who looked like me, with tattoos and jewelry and colorful gypsy clothes. I could drive through the city and see fascinating houses, the hill country, look over the river, see the wildlife and the greenery.
But I didn't have Bear and I wouldn't have Chris if I were still there. But I'm still lonely here. In Austin, I could make friends at the grocery store, the bookstore, take classes and join groups. And I had my close friends and my family. Houses that I could go to without calling beforehand. People I could sit with on a couch and listen to music and never say a word. I could have gone to culinary school. I could have done a lot of things.
But alas, I'm here, for another year and a half it looks like. What can I do to make the best of it? Chris and Jessica will move in a month. And then I will, quite literally, be alone except for Bear and Chris. No one to make food for and sit on couches with and gossip about people and boys and share books with. Obviously, Chris will do those things with me. But I need some friends too. I don't want to be that clingy girl with nothing to talk about because we do everything together. I want friends to lunch with and shop with and cook with. I'm lonely.
And it's dry and boring here. I took that cooking class and it was fun enough, but I was the youngest person by 40 years.